Monday, July 31, 2006

Truth Be Told

After two hours and 40 minutes, $128, one major headache, and 3 sorry attempts at crocodile tears I finally got Desi’s (my car) registration renewed. You ever see that Martin episode where he is sent running back and forth to 50 lines at the DMV? Well, today I found out that shit is true! Let me start by saying that I went into this trip to the DMV with a positive attitude. I was expecting to be there a little long, and I was ok with that bc I was wrong for waiting until the last minute. But in my defense this is the first time I have had to renew auto registration, so cut me some slack. So anyway, after talking with the Charismatic Professional we came to the conclusion that I should just suck it up and go get some good stories for the blog, you know bc the readers come first and all…so yes I was positive when I got in my 106 degree car nearly sweating my press-n-curl back bc it was so damn hot. I was positive when I parked in the tiny ass spot in the lot, even though I just knew in my heart that someone was going to tap my car. I mean dang I was even positive when I got my ticket and it said I was # D421 and they were only on D340…and when I got to the 1st window and was turned away and sent to another window I was a tiny bit heated but I still kept a smile. But I’ll be damned, when they started sending me in circles and back and forth, all that positivity crap went in the darn sea. Forget that, they are really crazy… I swear I truly believe that the people at the DMV/MVA move extra slow just to piss people like me off…it’s like they don’t care that folks have somewhere to go. Dang, who pissed in their cornflakes?! Sure as heck wasn't me!! Needless to say I am too agitated to even sit here and describe the crazy loonies that were lurking around and talking to me every chance they got. Does O deal with this? What about Puffy? Is there a separate DMV for the elite and rich that I don’t know about…can a sistah get a VIP line or something. Shoot if I gotta go buy an expensive outfit to fool somebody I’m all for it. I just can’t imagine a famous person sitting through this nonsense. I know you all think I am crazy but when you have almost 3 hours to sit and waste these are the things that come to your mind…well that and what would happen to me if I threatened this old lady and told her ass to meet me in the parking lot at 6 for a serious beat down. You see the point of frustration this trip drove me to? This shit is serious; it’s causing me to want to be a criminal and beat on old bitties. Anyway despite that, I’d just like to say special shout out to cashier #33!!! You rock lol. Hey…I give credit where credit is due…if not for this lady I would STILL be there!

Oh and before I forget, the trip wasn’t a total lost…I saw this quote hanging on someone’s cubicle….
Watch your THOUGHTS; they become your WORDS
Watch your WORDS; they become your ACTIONS
Watch your ACTIONS; they become your HABITS
Watch your HABITS; they become your CHARACTER
Watch your CHARACTER; it becomes your DESTINY…

Well damn, thanks MVA, guess you figured since I’d be there long enough you’d give me a little inspiration to ponder over. Truth be told, it’s inspiring and all, but I would have taken a 30 minute trip over this measly ass quote though. Dang they got me cursing!!

The Pressure..

Funny....now that I added the "subscribe me" box I feel like I have an obligation to post good stuff LOL. I mean what can I say, I love my readers (that would be yall)!! For instance, I am in the process of doing some research on the financial literacy of African-Americans bc a subscriber asked for a posting about credit scores..see so I love yall!!

Ok, so my weekend was quite dull, I spent Friday in Richmond, VA rubbing elbows with some work people. Being the lazy bones that I am, I hitched a ride with a co-worker...needless to say big mistake!! Well, not totally..but kinda. For those that don't know, it is a 3 hour drive each way to Richmond, considering you don't get lost..but of course with my luck we did. We got very lost which added an extra hour to the already long trip...so if you are following me, this is a total of 7 hours I am in the car with this guy. I spent 6 hours and 55 minutes listening to him talk about himself (the 5 minutes of heaven were when he got out to pump gas...thank God for empty tanks lol). But it wasn't a total lost bc now I can say I am an expert in the area of the Mormon faith. Did you know they have to wear special underwear? Dang! I would be lost without my vickies!! He also told me about his failed marriage and about some hottie from Philly that he used to be in love with (dumb me for even mentioning to him that I was from Phila...should have known he'd have a story). The only thing that kept me sane was my new buddy........

.......Mr. Blackberry!! YES!! Finally getting tired of being laughed at by my friends for still owning a planner and an old school flip phone, I broke down and bought it. I must say this was one of the best purchases I have ever made! Ranked right up there with my MAC Goldensoft Lipgelee (can't live w/o it)..great purchase. Don't you love when you buy something and you just ADORE it, I hate to buy something then get home and use it and I am only partially satisfied. Anyway, I love love love the phone...it keeps me super organized. I swear I don't know how I was getting by without it before. So my point was, I couldnt have made it through the trip without my trusty phone!

Sunday I went to the mall and did a little shopping. YAY free air conditioner! It was hot as hell...I had every intention of laying out at the pool and doing a little tanning. It's almost August and I haven't even totally shed my winter skin yet! But silly me, I dont know where the dang pool is at! I know we have one, but I keep forgetting to ask my leasing office where it is...so I did the mall thing instead :-/

While in the mall, I figured I would give one of my girls a call. Let me let you in on a secret about my policy when dealing with her, I ONLY and I mean ONLY call her when I have 15-20 min max to spare..otherwise she will keep me for hours yapping about dumb stuff. So the topic of choice for yesterday was her upcoming baby shower. The one that I thought was a surprise but somehow she has her hands all in the planning. So she is going on and on about the registry. This girl has a bunch of stuff on there priced at $300!! Are you kidding me? I was like you realize not everyone can afford or will WANT to buy a gift that expensive? Her response: "Well my close friends better get me something nice..that's what the expensive stuff is for." My reply: "ha ha (dryly) I hear you" So she repeats it again, I guess to emphasize the word CLOSE...so of course I politely replied "Well when I receive an invitation we can discuss gifts..now beat it". I mean the audacity of someone to feel as if folks are obligated to buy expensive gifts on the strength of friendship..I think not and I will not. Shoot, and I was gonna get her something nice...hmpf she has screwed herself. Needless to say I am turned off at this point and her 20 minutes are up. I haven't even received an invite yet and this thing is tentalively scheduled for September. Shoot, she better hurry and let me know before my Blackberry gets booked :-) and yall know I'm shady about driving to Philly....this shindig might get dissed lol. Some people...I tell you...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Get a Hobby!

...this started off as merely a comment to the entry on Charismatic Professional’s site entitled "Because putting him on Blast on Maury Wasn't Enough..." (go check it out) and has now turned into an all-out post. Recently I have come in contact with quite a few women that fall into a few categories.

scenario #1…The “I Know How to Keep My Man” Woman
the other night in a public ladies room some where in Towson, MD I was standing over the sink minding my own business, washing my hands and singing Happy B-day in my head (that's how I make sure I wash my hands for 30 seconds minimum...hey cleanliness is next to Godliness folks, get with it!)....anyway, these two women come in and they are yapping away. Seeing as how they were talking extremely loud, probably due to the fact that they were a little tipsy, I couldn't help but overhear their convo. It went a little something like this:


girl 1: so when yall gonna start having kids? you need to do it soon.
girl 2: yeah i'm thinking we will in the next few months. i wanted to wait like 2 yrs, you know, when he finished school and had a good job and stuff like that..
girl1 : uh huh but that's too long girl, you need to start popping 'em out now.
(disgust is written all over my face at this point, as hard as I am trying to hold it back..I just can't)
girl 1 continues: yeah how is angie, she just had one right? you know having a baby is the only way to keep a man.. (they laugh) that's why you need to have one soon. girl i'm telling you!!
girl 2: yeah you right about that

scenario #2…The “A Gym is Cheaper Than a Baby” Woman
There's a young lady that I work with that has been dying to have a baby for the past 2 years that I have known her. This is all she talks about, and when a client comes into our office with a baby in tow she gets all googly eyed and the "aww I want a baby" song starts pouring from her lips. Two years is a long time to think, talk and wish for something...one would think then that you must have the bomb plan in order to obtain this goal...WRONG! Girlfriend has neither the bomb plan nor the bomb man to help with the plan. She currently is not in a significant relationship, but she is resilient yall...she gonna make it work without a man. What she HAS said is that she wants to get pregnant as soon as possible...and the father does not need to be a part of the baby's life. Well except for financially of course, bc she has admitted that "I will take his ass to court if he doesn’t pay" So, my thoughts are...damn the men she deals with must be dumb. Where on earth do you find a man, tell him "hey I just need to get knocked up…no hard feelings, you don't have to be a father just pay me each month" and he is cool with that? No man that I know would be down for that. Well this is the thing; she doesn't plan to discuss ANY of this with the guy prior to getting physical with him. And why not you ask...bc "duh...he wouldn't sleep with me if he knew" is her response. Oh my, and if that's not enough...let's take a look at this even deeper. I often wondered WHY this young lady would want to raise a child on her own if she didn't have to. Her reason (yes reason...just ONE) for wanting a baby is because she is BORED. And now I know some of you are reading this and thinking I am making this up...but I am being very honest with you...I can barely believe it myself. Of course, me being me I say "why not get a hobby...you know knitting is in these days? Or hell...join a gym if you're THAT bored". And I do not say any of this to be rude, but let's be for real here...this is not just YOUR life we are discussing...it's the FATHER'S life who will forever be changed although you never admitted your intentions to him, and even worse it's a baby's life that now is changed. This baby deserves to have a relationship with TWO parents. Yes, things happen...but why FORCE them to happen. Oh did I mention she has 3 roommates? Great environment for a baby…a sitter is never too far away. Anyway, moving on before I get mad...

scenario #3…The “I Should Have Done a Background Check” Woman
I used to work with another young lady as well…only she was expecting during the time I knew her. Over lunch one day she asked me about kids and did I want them etc. I said not until 30 at the earliest…there are still things I need to do to prepare. Her response was that 30 is way too old…“haha you will be ancient when your kids graduate from high school. I want to get it out the way early and be finish before 50.” Ok boo, hate to disappoint you but parenting lasts a lifetime…just because the kid has turned 18 does not mean your involvement is complete…shoot if that were the case my momma would not be buying my Lion King ticket…you know the one with the kinks lol. Anyway, my point is I couldn’t believe she was laughing at me for not wanting kids just yet. She proceeds to tell me that she met the child’s father in a club 6 months ago… and she was 3 months pregnant at the time of this talk (you do the math), and that they were no longer together bc “girl he’s a stalker”. Well uhh yeah, maybe if you got to know him a little better you would have found that out! (I swear I was trying to be nice…but it was hard. I mean hard as shit…these are the lives of helpless babies we are talking about…someone has to have their back!) So she said that she has not talked to him; will not return his calls and does not plan to etc…so later I found out by “stalker” she didn’t mean in the sense that she needed a restraining order…more so he just was a little overbearing. So I ask what’s your plan, do you want to work it out with him? You know for the sake of the baby of course? “naw girl…I don’t care, I may let him go to the doctors with me, but whatever.”

Now, by no means am I bashing single mothers (being the product of one, they definitely have a soft spot in my heart) and my intentions are not to be pretend as if I have it all together, bc I don’t…but let’s be frank here, this is just craziness…why do some women put themselves in a position to just “do it on their own”? Yes, women are known for their strength and their “make it work” attitudes, but this isn’t about being strong…this to me screams a lack of maturity. Being responsible for another’s life is an enormous task, and one to not take lightly. As I have said the entire time, things happen, we all know that…but to have a baby bc you are bored or bc you didn’t properly plan or even bc you think it will aid in keeping your man is just wrong. Lives will be affected bc of a selfish decision on your part. When did we become so haphazard about bringing life into this world. Some women plan their vacations better than they do childbearing. Maybe I view things differently, but I believe every child deserves to have 2 parents. It can be done with one, but there are such advantages to having a mother and a father ACTIVE in your life. Let’s not deprive our kids of that.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Rock Hard Bodies

I really had a great time this weekend. I was off on Friday!!! My good-been knowing each other forever-knows everything about me-girlfriend m.l. came to visit. This was a much needed “girlfriend” time. I’ve been in MD for a little over 2 years now, and if nothing else I have learned who my true friends are. At times I even miss Philly, well not Philly per say...but I miss my girls…the ones that I could call at the drop of a dime and they would be ready to party or at least go to the “let out”...or the ones that knew Saturdays were for sipping coffee and shopping (no matter how hot it was!!)..or the ones (well the ONE I should say) that would drive around for hours with me until I got that “parking” thing down….anyway my point is I miss my girls. So we spent the day at the mall, laughing and joking and sharing what ringtones go with what guy and why and even feeling bad for taking the VS “free panty” coupon from this teenager that looked like she was going to cry (don’t worry we eventually gave it back). So afterwards I went home to shampoo (I was so tempted to write wash but my momma would kill me lol) my hair. That took forever, I dont know how Beyonce does it!

So Saturday I went to a housewarming for a co-worker, I had a great time…but I left quite hungry, if you know what I mean LOL. Sunday is “Catch Up” Day. I catch up on alllllll the shows I missed all week. Bravo had a Work Out marathon on. You guys know Work Out right? The 3% body fat 97% drama show?



Yes that one! So as I’m watching this show I notice that I have been pinching the fat on my arm since it started…you know the part that jiggles when you brush your teeth?! HORRIBLE…so I’m watching and pinching right, and I am AMAZED at these rock hard bodies I mean these folks are beasts!! And I'm talking men AND women…so now I’m jealous and all like “shoot I want a rock hard body too”. I can do this!! 3% body fat is quite extreme, but dammit I can at least do 10%...well wait is that a lot or a little? What’s the benchmark here? Anyone know? Ok hold please while I google. Google says “A total body fat percentage of 20 to 27 percent is well within a normal, healthy range for women. With training, body fat percentage may be as low as 12 to 16 percent.” So I'll take mine "with training" LOL. My plan is to have a rock hard body by Christmas. I want to go home to visit and my family be like daaaaaaaaaaaamn…so I’m all over this workout thing. Task #1 is to join a gym. Golds here I come!!!



Friday, July 21, 2006

Talk About Salt All Up In My Game


So I am off from work today, yay no work!!! In my world that means a day full of uhh chatting on IM LOL...so I get up bright and early and I'm logged on and ready to go. Man its only 10:15 and I have already had some very interesting conversations...

So I'm yapping away to a very umm good umm I wanna say friend but umm just didnt feel right. Anyway, I'm pumped bc I got tickets for the Lion King..well my momma got 'em for me, but nonetheless I'm going to see another Broadway show!! yeah boyeeeee! And if you know me, you know I love artsy stuff, like musicals and plays and museums and ooo don't forget Alvin Ailey! So anyway my point is I was hella, no I AM hella excited...excitement level at like a 10. Conversation goes a little like this...I said I would be in Philly in September to see the Lion King...reply: "mmm well I saw it when it was really on Broadway, I hear the Philly one has alot of kinks in it...sure it will be ok though..." Daaaaaamn, talk about attempt to pull excitement level down to a 4. This is what I'm saying, salt all up in my game! Oh well, I'm still gonna find the cutest outfit and go to that show and have a ball!!! "Kinks" and all LOL

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Google

Today I'm in kind of a funky mood...lately I have been having problems with my eyes :-( so sad...I know!! I have been getting sties in my left..wait no right eye for the last few months. Google, confirmed by Dr. Shanita Chase (don't let the name fool ya, she is legit), says it's very common and no need to be concerned etc and I even got some little drops to put in it. So yeah I have been on Google all day man...I mean ALL day...I swear I don't know where I'd be without it. I think every day there is something that starts off at 8:30 as a mere curiosity and then by 11:30 it has morphed into full blown obsession..all thanks to my buddy Google..there's nothing it can't do!! I probably visited EVERY site today that had info about sties, well that and blog templates lol...where did the last 7 hours go!! Listen to what I'm saying...obsessions will make you do crazy things for insane amounts of time LOL. Anyway, I digress...I personally I think I'm just allergic to my office and maybe the people I work with....hmm think I can get worker's comp for this?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Call Me Lazy..

...but a sistah is ALL about a drive-thru. I mean dang it's 2006, who the hell wants to get out of their car and walk into the Dunkin Donuts and stand in line to get a frickin' coffee...hell no, not me. Shoot and risk missing Steve Harvey's response to the Strawberry Letter 23 in the morning around 8:10 bc my ass is late for work, as usual...no siree. I got places to go! Gimme that drive-thru. Now, I mentioned this to my good-advisor-life saving girlfriend and she laughed at me..."you lazy ass!!! get the hell out the car and walk in the damn dunkin donuts and order that coffee...shit" her words exactly...but no way, they bringing a drive-thru Starbucks right smack dab across the street from my office!!! YAAAAY drive-thru. Man, I can't wait, I'm saving this $20 gift card that I carry in my wallet faithfully until this place opens. You know what's sad, LOL...there's another Starbucks in the next block, right there in the big ole Target...you think I go to that? Hell no!! DRIVE-THRU baby!!! :-)

I guess you all can see I must be bored, bc this is the best news I have gotten all day!

Get With It...

...as my girl Tiff says! :-)
Time to get financially fit folks...check this out:


O and Suze Budget Worksheet



Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Project Runway

tonight...10 pm...Bravo...make it work!

auf wiedersehen


Monday, July 10, 2006

My girl Suze...

while ODing on TV this weekend, I watched my girl Suze…Orman that is. Don’t know how many of you have watched her show, but this woman gives REAL advice on REAL financial issues, and she even gets a little gully with it lol. I mean in a heartbeat she will tell you “girlfriend you are being a fool” and we all need someone like that…and yall know I’m all about improving the finances as well, so that’s why I love it. This weekend her show was about how much $$ people actually spend on weddings and the amount of debt they go in to for this one fabulous day. I started to think about how much time, effort and money people put into this day but never put the same or even a close amount of attention-to-detail into the actual marriage. Now don’t get me wrong, a sistah has always dreamed of this day and has mentally selected the colors and flowers and has an idea of what the dress will look like and how many bridesmaids there will be, and the swatches for their dresses, and flowers, and where the honeymoon will be, and what the rings will look like, and how many guests and place settings and cake flavors etc, because I’m just in to weddings like that. BUT I’m also thinking about the life AFTER the wedding, and it’s amazing to me that SO many people just don’t.

This is something that just needs to be discussed you know? Especially when money is one of the main reasons marriages fail as it is. So being the random-question-asking chic that I am, I spark up a conversation with Mister about prenups. Do you think they are a good idea? Would you get one? yadda yadda. Also being the think-I-know-everything type of chic, I was so ready for the response to be “hell yeah I’m getting a prenup”! I mean he’s the type of guy that plans everything to a T when it comes to business and finances. I don’t know a more disciplined person in that area, and to be honest I LOVE that he’s all responsible like that...he’s my inspiration; shoot he balances my all-over-the-place ass out...I need that, seriously lol. So you can imagine the look of confusion on my face when his response was “I dunno…I will love my wife so that won’t matter…we won’t split”. And I’m sure you can imagine my reply…I’m all like “are you being serious? is that realistic?”

Is it? Is it realistic to think that “till death do you part” means forever? Now, I am all for love, and totally believe in it. Shoot it’s ranked right up there with God and believing in myself. And I’m definitely not one of those girls that’s been hurt before and walks around with the “men aint sh*t” and “a good man is hard to find” stank look on my face. I’m cheesy when it comes to love, I’m talking butterflies in my tummy, love at first sight (well not actually love but you know), got a box of mementos in my closet type of cheesy. But I do believe that things happen in life…things that you never thought would. And it’s best to plan for those “things” when you are in love. When you are both agreeable and can make intelligent decisions that are in both of your best interest. Heaven forbid you get to the point where you are clawing each others eyes out and at the same time juggling what to do with your finances; it just keeps the fight clean. I’m all about clean as well lol.

Money is always one of those things people act as if they are afraid to discuss, it’s danced around forever. But come on let’s be realistic marriage is as much an economic contract as it is social and spiritual. I think we allow ourselves to get caught up in the emotions and the hoopla of love and we forget that there is a world of issues waiting out there once you say “I do”…so why not plan accordingly. This doesn’t mean I have turned in to one of those people that enter marriage with a Plan B in their back pocket ready to pull it out like *wham* at the first sight of trouble…I hate those folks by the way. It just means I believe in preparation. Frankly if you fail to plan you plan to fail…

Monday, July 03, 2006

fireworks

yeah boyeeeee!! its the 4th of july!! well i must say i am a tiny bit excited lol...ok probably a WHOLE lot more than a tiny bit...anyway tomorrow will be my first time BBQing...mister and i are going to have a cute little BBQ/picnic date :-D

~ciao

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