Words On My Lips: June 2006

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

46 things!!

ok i don’t normally do these quizzes but i'm kind of bored...lol

1. Were you named after anyone? nope...my parents chose my name from a name book for the meaning
2. Do you wish on stars? no
3. When did you last cry? umm over the weekend, i was watching this really good movie on tv 1 haha, it was so sweet!!
(what happened to #4)
5. What is your favorite lunch meat? i loooooove me some turkey breast...the kind where its been oven roasted so the edges are nice and dark brown, yummy in my tummy
6. What is your birth date? dec 11
7. What is your most embarrassing CD? not sure...let me think..oh i own a few soundtracks to disney movies lol...hakuna matata!
8. Do you have a journal? does this blog count?
9. What do you like best about yourself? EVERYTHING!! lol..i'm a lady
10. Would you bungee jump? naw but i would skydive
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? laces? i don’t think i own shoes that have laces...
12. Do you think that you are strong? hell yeah
13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? breyers vanilla bean (must have the beans) or butter pecan, yum
14. Red or pink? pink is my fav but red makes more of a statement ;-)
15. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? man i love to sleep late, so i can never make it to the gym
16. Last person you ate with? mister
17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? brown and brown.1
8. What are you listening to right now? vH1 radio...nugroove
19. What was the last thing you ate? yummy turkey (refer to #5) and cheese sandwich and a slushy vitamin water!! woo hoo
20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? sage lol
21. What is the weather like right now? sunny, hot and muggy
22. Last person you talked to on the phone? mrs. rivera lol
23. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? smile and eyes and are they missing teeth!! gotta have them molars
24. Favorite drink? mojito!! love em
25. Favorite sport? football...duh
26. Hair color? dark brown with some highlights
27. Eye color? dark brown
28. Do you wear contacts? nope
29. Favorite food? sushi and anything with garlic...mm i'm getting hungry!!
30. Last new movie you watched? temptations!! "yall can't kick me out the group...i AM the temptations
31. Favorite day of the year? christmas
32. Scary movies or happy endings? both
33. Summer or winter? summer all the way...gotta shed that winter skin
34. Hugs or kisses? both
35. What is your favorite dessert? crème brulee..with a little cookie on the side lol
36. Last concert you saw? darn...its been a while
37. What book are you reading? freakonomics!!! more on that tomorrow...great read
38. What's on your mouse pad? a title company logo
39. What did you watch last night on TV? real world/road rules challenge: fresh meat!! gotta love that coral...man she's a beast
40. Favorite smells? that after shower fresh scent, umm sneaker rubber (crazy right), fresh flowers
41. Favorite sounds? music...or the wind blowing on a hot summer day
42. Rolling Stones or Beatles? doesn’t matter..probably the beatles...i like that eleanor rigby song lol
43. Furthest you've been from home? probably aruba
44. Do you have a special talent? i guess lol
45. What is your ringtone? ok so i am SOOOOOO against ringtones, but i love that rihanna song SOS so i broke down and downloaded it hahaha
46. What are you doing now? talking to my friend quils about how we can't wait to go try on these joe/citizens of humanity jeans...gonna be life-changing i tell ya!!

Posted by thedressjunkie at 2:21 PM | Permalink | Comments

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Today's Top 10

Today's Top 10...uhh huh..are the Top Ten Signs that You Work in a Zoo!
...in honor of the Steve Harvey Morning Show

numba 10 (nuuumba 10)
10. Folks think its OK to eat sunflower seeds at their desk and put the shells in a napkin.
numba 9
9. RIBS!! (need i say more)
numba 8
8. You spend the day listening to the song "It's Alright to be a Redneck!!"
numba 7
7. The planning of a Wiffle Ball tournament is the highlight of the day.
numba 6
6. Phrases like "bite me" & "eat me" are thrown around very frequently.
numba 5
5. The mgr always says "Keep It Real" to me as a way of relating to my "ethnic" background.
numba 4
4. A crazy client comes in and tells a co-worker to "eat her pu$$y" in a nasty, i still got morning phlegm in my throat type of a voice.
numba 3
3. Myspace is the most frequently visited website by most employees.
numba 2
2. You can get filled in on every show that you missed last night on MTV bc it DEFINITELY will be talked about all day.
and numba 1
1. Your co-worker’s wife storms into the office on a regular basis with her kids tagging behind her yelling at her husband for not answering his cell phone.

Posted by thedressjunkie at 9:01 AM | Permalink | Comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

maybe

last night i checked my phone every 5 minutes to see if "the call" had come in..i stayed up later than normal wishing and hoping and waiting to see bc i had this feeling that THIS time he would call..i was like a kid on christmas eve waiting anxiously for santa......man i even slept with my phone by my pillow just in case.....

but he didn’t...he didn’t call...but he never does. i should have known that i would be sitting here writing this today. i should have known that i was going to be let down once again...what's the saying? insanity is doing something the same way over and over and expecting different results...well i guess according to that i need to be in the crazy house bc i’ve been here before...but i don't get it...i just can’t make sense of it..i mean why do i continue to get excited only to find that each time i end up crying myself to sleep because yet again its another check mark under "times i've been let down" ...why do i care so much about someone that obviously doesn’t feel the same about me?

maybe...maybe i care bc i just know deep down that if he really got to know me...i mean like really really know me, he would just adore me right? right yall?...i'm a nice person right? i mean i’m smart and i'm cute and i'm fun and i'm generous and i'm kind and i'm successful...and i don’t say this to be boastful, but i think i'm a pretty loveable person...and i think that maybe just this one time i can prove to him that i'm all these good things and he should love me, and he should care...and just magically he will right?

well maybe i'm living in this fantasy world full of dreams and wishes and hopes and it’s time for me to wake up...time for me to stop waiting by the phone and wishing he'll call and longing for the love of someone that just doesn’t want to give it to me. maybe it’s time to face the fact that i can't force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

but its hard...man it’s so hard. it’s hard and it hurts so damn much to want someone to be there for you and they reject and push you away each time. it hurts to try and try some more and have every promise ever made to you broken. it hurts to pray to God to make THIS time be THE time that things change, and it hurts to have God just let all those prayers go unanswered. it hurts to cry yourself to sleep at night bc you don’t know how to change things and you just want to make them all right.

and so here i am in this place again… stuck...i'm stuck in this place where i am struggling with letting go of something that has let go of me long ago and caused me so much pain in the process...deep down i know its exactly what i need to do, i’ve convinced myself each time that i won't cry anymore, that i can't cry anymore about this....that i'm too strong for this, and that i don’t need him and its time to move on...and i get myself all pumped up and i’m ready…i mean like really ready this time yall…ready to make a change and BAM...it hits me..

...how can i let go of my father's love?

Posted by thedressjunkie at 12:56 PM | Permalink | Comments

Monday, June 12, 2006

said he'll call..

he emailed today...
said he'll call..
been here before..
was let down last time..
and the time before that..
and before that..
and so on..
so why do i care..
and expect anything more..
all i've seen are broken promises..
but i still get excited..
and all happy inside...
thinking maybe this time........................

Posted by thedressjunkie at 4:31 PM | Permalink | Comments

Friday, June 09, 2006

damn......

ok so the pressure is on...i've been trying to come up with these great ideas of things to write about on here...i actually have about 3 or 4 drafts saved…yes THAT MANY...so why haven't i posted anything...is it that i constantly start a project and never finish it? or is it just that I have so many great thoughts that my mind just wanders? i mean i started out wanting to tell the world about this disgusting co-worker that thought it was ok to eat BBQ ribs at work and how she licked the sauce from her fingers (i mean seriously..who eats RIBS??! gosh) but then i wanted to tell you about this friend i have that is about to get married but too scared to tell his fiancé that he wants to call the wedding off...and somehow that turned into why do people use the excuse that all men cheat to justify infidelity...oh and then there's the draft about how i HATE…and i rarely use that word…but i HATE when i am ignored and how someone is doing that to me right now...and there are countless other ideas that i mentally blog about (maybe i have a problem when my private thoughts are in blog format...u think?) anyway....then i started to think about a conversation i had with a friend the other day where i jokingly said "i have commitment issues" i was joking right? i said it as a joke…but maybe there’s some truth to everything we say. maybe subconsciously i was finally admitting to myself that i can’t decide on something and stick with it, i mean it’s obvious from my first posting that it took me hours to commit to a NAME for my blog...now it took days to commit to a topic to write about....so i started thinking hmm...what in my life have i run from? not much...right? right? well there were the GMATs that i started prepping for and have all the materials at home dusty in a box but haven’t taken the exam yet and then there's the yarn that's been sitting on my living room floor waiting to be knitted into a scarf, but i didn't finish that bc its too hot for a scarf now right? shoot…what about the clothes that I gathered for good will and have been sitting in my room since november...oh wait then there's the gym membership and the taebo tapes and the pilates stuff and the special k diet and the damn big ass ball that i'm supposed to be doing crunches on that has magically transformed itself into my daily foot rest while i relax and watch tv....ok so maybe i do...

....or maybe like with this posting..it just took for the right thing to come along..

Posted by thedressjunkie at 9:13 AM | Permalink | Comments

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

it's about time...

ok so i have finally arrived in this world of blogging...it only cost me umm 4 hours and 35 minutes, no lunch and as a result a major headache, 5 emails to my friends asking them to describe me bc i thought it would aid in selecting catchy names which all turned out to be TAKEN...but nonetheless i am here. but why? i'm still wondering myself...but the most simple answer is i read my friend sheena's blog (she's my inspiration) and thought "hey i have things to say too"...now whether or not folks read them and crack up is a different story...also my girl O (yes O...thats short for Oprah of course...but when we have tea out on her veranda she lets me call her O) anyway...she says that journaling is cleansing for the mind and soul (and maybe even the new yoga!) and clearly since is 2006 and i can't remember the last time i actually picked up a pen and a blank sheet of paper and wrote anything, i decided that THIS must be the new-age version...i'm sure O would approve...also bc i am SO tired of that myspace thing, silly me for thinking i could deal with that...so i seem to be rambling but back to my original point...i made it...and i am here. but now i'm too tired to write anything lol....so..............

hasta mañana

Posted by thedressjunkie at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments

Words On My Lips

"No one else can speak the words on your lips...drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open...today is where your book begins."