Words On My Lips

This weekend I was truly entertained by a crazy conversation about the book "Why Men Love Bitches". My friends laughed and joked as they recounted the "lessons" they learned from this new read. For instance they told me that when a man texts/calls me I should be slow to reply. Now anyone that knows me also knows that I'm Quick Draw McLove when it comes to replying to texts...I mean shoot I even put it on me resume.."25 words per minute" and this is all with my right thumb only mind you...so basically this lesson is out the door for me. Other "lessons" include being mindful of the post-sex snuggles..you never want to give the impression that you are growing attached to the guy (although I thought that was the point of being intimate with someone...to express a connection...hmmmmm?); and also you should only make yourself available 2/3 of the time that a man asks you out.......interesting. By no means am I bashing this book, I'm actually considering reading it so that I can post my own opinion. I did however take note of what my friends actually got out of the book. I mean these lessons are basically all that they told me, and to be honest makes me feel as if they have taken nothing but a bunch of rules from the book as if their relationship is merely a game. One boasted that her guy "friend" asked if she would like to go away on a trip next year as a result of using these lessons she learned. (folks hi-fived to this) While we were chatting, another friend received a text saying "what time will you be home tonight". (more hi-fives) And as usual, me being me I wondered if anyone has made it to the altar as a result of this book..mmm doubt it. Because that is their ultimate goal right? I mean let's be frank here...if you really like these guys why are we ok with playing games with them. Shoot if I text your ass I want a prompt reply! Who doesn't? I personally feel that just being yourself is appreciated alot more than being the B.I.T.C.H. that this book seems to call for. I don't mean to seem cynical at all here, nor do I want to come off as if I have all the secrets for finding a man in my back pocket, bc I dont. But I am in favor of the assertive woman who doesn't get walked over by a man, or the woman that doesn't constantly put her own needs and wants on the backburner for the sake of her boo. But what I am not in favor of is poisoning a relationship by treating it as if this is Connect Four.

After listening to this chatter all evening I whispered to one of my friends "please consider your source on this information". I didn't say that to be rude or ignorant..just honest. And the honest part is that none of these women are in relationships as a result of these lessons. I find that many times we are quick to value the opinion of someone just merely based on the fact that we know them, they are our friend, or a friend of a friend. How many times do we consider the person's qualifications for offering their opinion on such a topic? I'm sure if we did then we would be more cautious of who we accept advice from. Would you ask your ob/gyn about changing your car's oil?! Hecks no...but we do it all the time when it comes to life decisions and most importantly matters of the heart. How many times have we complained to our girlfriend about the men in our life...the girlfriend that has had 4 unsuccessful relationships? By no means am I saying that our friends will give us bad advice to sabotage us; they do truly think they are helping and giving soundwords of wisdom. At the end of the day it is up to us to always consider the source before we follow the opinion of others.

I've always believed that if you accept someone's opinion then you respect their lifestyle.

Posted by thedressjunkie on Tuesday, September 05, 2006 at 3:03 PM | Permalink